


Danneel Harris is Totally Awesome

by verity



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Crack, F/M, Mpreg, Otters, Were-Creatures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-08
Updated: 2012-06-22
Packaged: 2017-11-07 06:31:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/427985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verity/pseuds/verity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Danneel Harris is a wereotter, Jensen is her hot but totally nerdy next door neighbor, and Jared is his equally hot and nerdy stepbrother-slash-wizard-slash-fanfiction-writer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the one where Danneel is occasionally an otter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ghostyouknow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostyouknow/gifts), [Snickfic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snickfic/gifts).



> as usual, I blame Snick. This is chatfic and I hope it will fill the void of Danneel/Jensen otter fic in ghostyouknow's life.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen glimpses a side of Danneel Harris that he'll never forget. And no, it's not her naked ass, although he saw that, too.

A new high school. A chance to make a new impression. Danneel shouldered her messenger bag and eyed Awesomedale High School. No one here knew she turned into an otter every clear night that the moon rose high in the sky. They were all going to think she was totally badass.

Because, let's face it. Danneel Harris was totally badass. She had a motorcycle permit and everything, and one time her mom let her dye her bangs pink. She was way too cool to be an otter sometimes, that's all.

But someone discovered her secret.

It was the geeky but super cute boy next door, Jensen Ackles .He looked like he should be an underwear model, or in one of the gay porn mags Danneel's brother kept stuffed under his mattress and she sometimes - well, anyway, he was HOT. But he mostly wore t-shirts that said things about Star Wars and computer programming. Sometimes she thought about him and his equally dorky stepbrother, Jared Padalecki. They would make great gay porn: she couldn't deny it.

That night, she wasn't thinking about porn at all. She was an otter, and otters don't have porn, unfortunately. But this otter had a freshwater pool and fresh fish from her mom. Danneel was pretty content. That is, until she climbed out of the pool, took off her otter skin, and noticed a movement in the bushes. 

Grabbing a towel and wrapping it around herself, Danneel shouted, "Come out of there or I'll kick your ass! I mean, I'll kick your ass anyway, but I will _extra_ kick it if you don't-" 

Of course it was Jensen, her next door neighbor. "Sorry," he said. "I heard a weird noise. I didn't mean to see you..."

"Turn into an otter?" Danneel said.

"Naked," Jensen corrected her. "Wait. An otter?"

"Crap." Danneel looked down at the crumpled skin at her foot. "Can you please not tell people about that?"

"That's so cool," Jensen said, emerald eyes sparkling. 

"Top secret." Danneel raised a finger to her lips and almost dropped her towel. "Okay?"

"My lips are sealed," Jensen promised. "But, damn, Danneel Harris. A wereotter? That's pretty much the most badass thing ever."

"Nah, don't think so," she said. "But thanks."

"Um, you're welcome."

"I'm going to get less naked now," Danneel told him. "But I'll see you around."  
   
THE END


	2. the one where Danneel and Jensen get turned into walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> verity: I just find my gay porn 100000% more interesting than most TV  
> verity: and no, most of the stuff I read is not actually gay porn  
> verity: it's more "and in this one they're WALLS"  
> snickfic: dudewhat

"Jensen," Danneel said, "I always knew you were neighborly, but this is something else. By which I mean, perpendicular."

"I'm sure I can figure this out!" Jared said, waving the Book of Shadows around.

"You better get on that, Wizard Boy," Danneel told him. "Because when the sun goes down? This wall is going to turn into an otter."

"Dad's going to kill us," Jensen moaned, as only a wall can moan.

"I'm sorry!" Jared said for the fourteenth time. "I just wanted waffles."

"And they were totally cheek by jowl with walls in your Book of Eibon," Danneel finished for him. "Yep. Got that."

"We OWN a WAFFLE MAKER," Jensen said.

"I thought it would be good practice," Jared said, looking down.


	3. the one where Jared writes a/b/o fanfic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I don't even.

"Dude, that's fucked up," Jensen said, looking down at his brother's fanfiction.net profile

"Just a sec," Danneel said, tapping at the keyboard on her iPhone. "I have to tell Genevieve this. She's going to lose her shit."

"Hey, what are you guys looking at?" Jared asked, coming out of the kitchen with a six pack of Coke and a bowl of popcorn in his hands. "Oh. Crap."

"You really shouldn't leave your laptop just lying around like that," Danneel said, still typing. "Also, DAMN, Padalecki. The cliffhanger on chapter 13 is killer. You going to update that anytime soon?"

"Wait, what?" Jensen said, eyes darting back and forth between his stepbrother and Danneel.

"The best gay porn is all on the internet now," Daneel said. "Although I wish you'd stop getting your dudes knocked up, Jared. Haven't you ever heard of safe sex?"

"It's fiction," Jared said primly.

"Gay porn?" Jensen said.

Danneel patted him on the shoulder. "Oh, honey," she said, sympathetic. "That's just how I felt at first, too."


	4. the one where Jared takes his fanfic offline and there are unforeseen consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a brief flash forward 15 years in the future
> 
> (warning for unplanned pregnancy due to malicious and misdirected magic use)

"I wasn't one of those girls who always wanted to be a mom," Danneel said, patting Jensen's belly. "I was always more into ponies. And then motorcycles."

"Please don't tell our kid that," Jensen said, putting on his best despairing face. 

She leaned down and kissed him. "I'll put it on the bedtime story roster."

This wasn't like time back in high school that Jared had turned both Danneel and Jensen into walls. That had been comparatively easy to deal with: "wall" and "not a wall" were two fairly discrete states of being. And they hadn't been too mad at Jared - Jensen even found the waffle iron and made them all waffles afterward. 

Danneel had fallen a little in love with Jensen right then.

Now Jared was a professional wizard, Danneel produced and directed feminist porn with her best friend Genevieve, and Jensen was the head of IT at the local credit union. The credit union had great benefits: it was even going to cover all of the costs associated with carrying magical pregnancies to term.

"You're going to be the cool mom and I'm going to be the boring dad," Jensen said, covering her hand with his. "I always wanted kids. And they're never allowed to ride your motorcycle."

"Okay," Danneel said. She squeezed his hand.

Jensen was taking this pretty well, all things considered. They'd - well, they'd been dating forever, all senior year of high school, one summer in college, and then they'd gotten back together for real at their tenth high school reunion. But they didn't live together yet - Danneel owned a small house with a freshwater pool in the suburbs, and Jensen rented a studio apartment in the city that had huge windows and the world's tiniest stove. He would have renewed the lease for another year if it hadn't been for some kids who'd gotten into an incredibly heated argument with Jared about his choice to take all of his Twilight fanfic offline. Everyone knew that curses cast online didn't work quite right, but - _wizards_.

Now Jensen slumped into the easy chair that Danneel kept by the TV and yawned. "I'm _tired_. And hungry. Again."

"Pregnancy is pretty hard work." Danneel stood up and started towards the kitchen. "Chunky Monkey or Cherry Garcia?"

"Can I have both?"

"Of course you can," Danneel said. She turned around and smiled at him again. "And you're not boring. Don't say mean things about yourself."

"You're a badass producer and director by day and otter by night, Danneel. That's some tough competition."

Danneel rolled her eyes. "It's not a competition. The baby is a cooperative effort! Isn't that what they told us in Lamaze class?"

"Well, yeah." Jensen ducked his head. "But you're still the coolest."


End file.
